The other day I was finishing up something that seemed very important at the time when the baby woke up from a nap and started fussing. Chopping up veggies for dinner or writing the last sentence of an email, I can’t even remember anymore. In the moment I thought, “I’ve got to do this right now.” Hildie wasn’t all out crying. She was just starting to make “not happy noises” as my kids call … [Read more...]
A Recap of Our 2018!
In some ways 2018 felt a million years long and in some ways it's just flown by--packed full of stuff. I wanted to share some of the big events with you (partly just to document for myself!). January: -I'm several weeks in to my worst pregnancy so far due to more severe hyperemesis gravidarum (I always think next time will be better..reader...next time is not better). -Netflix and La … [Read more...]
Parents, It’s Better When You Give Up
My 9yo son asked me yesterday if it was easier having a baby in the house with big kid helpers or if it’s easier to just have one baby in the house and no other kids to care for. (We just had our fourth little one in August.) I had to think about it for a minute. Having big kid helpers is so different than having only toddlers! It’s downright dreamy. But life is certainly pretty busy over here, … [Read more...]
How Can I Describe the Weight of You?
How can I describe the weight of you? Your warm cheek against my chest, limbs relaxed, eyes closed, breathing deep and even. The new baby smell from the top of your head that smells like heavenly bread. Your smiles in your sleep, the way your scrunch your face and stretch, almost waking and the relaxing again into my arms. I watch the soles of your feet touch together. I feel your fingers … [Read more...]
Hildie’s Birth Story: Part II, The Wild Ride
This is Part II. You definitely want to start with Part I to hear about how I was sent home from the hospital and told I was "not in labor." Back at home I laid on the couch with one leg over a couch pillow while Daniel dozed on a yoga mat on the floor next to me, holding my hand through contractions. The contractions were becoming unbearable and I started to feel overheated during them and … [Read more...]
Hildie’s Birth Story: Part I, “You’re Not in Labor”
To arrive at our sweet girl’s absolutely wild birth story, the stage must be set. It was a rough pregnancy. 25 weeks of debilitating nausea due to HG followed by a third trimester of lightheadedness and the other perks that come with anemia. Then my midwife mentioned, “Hmmmm, looks like she’s breech. But don’t freak out because she has plenty of time to turn.” I did start to freak out and … [Read more...]
A Hospital Bag Checklist for the Catholic Mom
I am 38 weeks tomorrow. My baby girl continues to stubbornly stay breech and transverse in there so this week is chock full of chiropractor visits, more handstands at the pool, acupuncture, moxibustion, and if all that fails (as it has been) an external version at the hospital on Friday. I am feeling very not in control of much right now. But I can pack my hospital bag (and I plan to take it … [Read more...]
“So Are You Done Having Kids?”
“So are you done having kids? Is this your last pregnancy?” I’ve been asked this after each one of my pregnancies. And until this one (my 4th), I have always responded with a resounding “no!” (with the caveat that none of us are entitled to a baby and we can’t always predict secondary infertility). But keep the babies coming! No plans to stop! Enough for a quidditch team! But this time my … [Read more...]
Baby Name Reveal for Baby Carrots!
I am a baby name nerd. You need to know this to understand this story. I make extensive lists (despite my aversion to listmaking) of baby names I love for future use. I have a giant document on my laptop of first names, middle names, various combinations that I update every time I fall in love with a new name. Since my pregnancies are rough, choosing a name is one of the rare joys I experience … [Read more...]
This Is My Body, Broken for You
I was staring up at the crucifix during Mass. I was too sick to kneel, so I was just sitting in the pew while everyone knelt around me. I was desperately trying not to throw up, the pregnancy nausea coming in waves, impossible to ignore. It was my first Mass in a month. I had been too sick with hyperemesis gravidarum to leave the house for weeks. The previous week I had tried to get out of bed … [Read more...]