Sometimes I talk about things like faith, motherhood, suffering, and fear at Carrots. And sometimes I tackle the REALLY important questions like which Fiddler on the Roof bachelor is the dreamiest. I honestly don’t know what made me realize that this was a super important issue, but it popped into my head the other day and I realized that picking between the Motel the tailor, Perchik the revolutionary, and Fyedka the bookish Russian was nigh impossible. But let’s give it our best shot:
Motel: The Boy Next Door
Build: Tall and thin, “but not because I have no food. If you let me marry your daughter I promise she will not starve.”
Favorite Attire: “I can make my own clothes.”
Dream: “Owning my own sewing machine.”
Biggest fears: “Asking loud bearded men for their daughter’s hand in marriage. (Surpassed by the fear of the girl I love wedding an aged butcher.)”
What’s a typical Friday night like for you?: “After finishing my work I might try to have a talk with Tzeitel (and keep an eye on Yente the matchmaker). If I’m lucky, I’ll be invited to stay for the Sabbath meal (but only because I love staring into Tzeitel’s beautiful eyes across the table NOT because I’m hungry. I have enough food for myself AND Tzeitel. Cannot stress this enough.)”
How can you not love Motel? He’s so endearing and sweet. I love how he conquers his naturally gentle and non-confrontational spirit to fight for the woman he loves. You know that he will do everything in his power to care for and to make Tzeitel happy until his dying day. And if you can make it all the way through his Miracle of Miracles song: “...the one I thought could never be/ God has given you to me” then you’re a heartless monster. Choose this adorable, penniless tailor and you’ll be so happy you won’t know how miserable you are!
Perchik: The Revolutionary Intellectual
Occupation: Tutor (“Not a beggar. And remember, never trust an employer.”)
Favorite Attire: “My Karl Marx t-shirt.”
Dream: “End the oppression of the working classes by having a socioeconomic order structured upon the common ownership of the means of production.”
Biggest fears: “Money. It’s the world’s curse.”
Most Awkward Moment: “That time I was exiled to Siberia for being a Bolshevik.”
The Thing That Most Annoys Me. “When people say they’re not interested in politics. I mean EVERYTHING’s political.”
Favorite activity: “Dancing! By the river with strong-minded women named Hodel, at weddings with strong-minded women named Hodel, you name it. People don’t peg me as a dancer because I’m kind of a serious guy, but it’s true. I guess I’m just a dancing fool.”
While Perchik couldn’t make a flowery speech to save his life (I mean, the man proposes by asking a “political question”) that doesn’t mean he can’t be romantic. Make him your date to a wedding and he might make a scene, but everyone will know how much he likes you. Don’t expect him to ask your father for his permission to wed you, but he doesn’t completely throw out tradition–he will ask for his blessing. Perchik admires wit in women and the ability for a girl to think for herself. He’s always willing to stand up for what he believes to be right, despite what it will cost him. You might have to travel far from the home you love to be with him, but he’s certainly a catch.
Fyedya: The Bookish Russian
Occupation: Unclear, but involves a hoe. Is he a farmer? Is he a soldier? Depends on who you ask.
Religion: Russian Orthodox Christian
Personality: My friend’s describe me as, “a pleasant fellow, charming, honest, ambitious, quite bright, and very modest. Also, kind of a babe.”
Dream: “Meeting a bookish girl and raising many bookish children together.”
Biggest fears: “That’s an easy one. Running out of books! I mean, can you imagine?”
What’s a typical Friday night like for you?: “After the bookshop closes, I might try to save any bookish maidens from unruly cads before lending one of my favorite books to her.”
Fyedka is the sort of guy girls think is worth being shunned by your family and leaving your religion for. You’re sure to be the talk of the village if you’re seen with Fyedka. Chivalrous, bookish, and willing to leave his town to protest injustice, it’s hard to beat this Russian dreamboat. But one thing’s for sure: if you’re dating him you’ll be the envy of all you see.
With those three options, you really can’t go wrong picking out your Fiddler bachelor! I hope this highly important post has helped you discern whether you’re a Motel, Perchik, or Fyedka kinda girl.
What do you think? Which Fiddler bachelor is right for you? Let’s chat in the comments.