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The Most Important Person on Earth is a Mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral-a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby’s body…The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God’s creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature; God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation…What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?
~ Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty
I thought about this quote when Jen talked about our work as Christian women, building cathedrals, at the Edel Gathering this summer. Cardinal Mindszenty’s words praise the vocation of mothers and it’s a beautiful quote. As a tired mama, it’s a message I need to hear. Your work matters. But there’s more ways to mother than to raise children. Every woman is called to mother, and by that I mean that we are all called to love.
We are all called to acknowledge that every person we come in contact with was created to be a cathedral–a heart that God himself will dwell in.
Sometimes I forget what I am about. I know that my vocation as a mother has value. That this living Church-building of motherhood matters in a way I can barely wrap my mind around. But it’s so hard for me to live the little moments of my day as if that is true.
The weight of this calling feels like too much. When I fail, I only grow more frustrated and irritable. Because I know that my job is simple to express, but almost impossible to live: to love well every moment. To always let love win. But sometimes my anger, my frustration, my impatience, and my selfishness win–not my love.
I have in my charge three little people to love every day. And they are made in the image of God, have infinite worth, and deserve to be loved perfectly. God graced me with the job of building up these little cathedrals, these little hearts that were created to be His throne. But the stuff of life and my own sin makes me forget. The dishes pile up and the socks don’t match and when I can’t find a clean shirt for the toddler and step on a LEGO while I search, I am distracted from the true nature of this life. I explode with frustration and sometimes even rage at my tiny, intricate, messy cathedrals.
And the easiest thing is to decide, “that’s it. The day might as well be over. I’ve already ruined it. I’ve already failed. Why even try anymore?” Instead of painstakingly crafting the beauty of these little cathedrals, I smash a stained glass window with my frustration. My yelling, my temper, my inability to love as I should.
My love isn’t enough and it hurts to confess it. But God’s love is. And I have to have faith that if I let Him, He’ll help me become the mother He wants me to be. And If I take a deep breath and look around the cathedral of my work as a mama, I can see that it’s not all broken glass. There’s arches and carvings and bright windows God is making in me. Because He’s really the cathedral builder, after all. And His Love never falls short.
If I look around my heart there are colorful windows that weren’t there a few years ago, repaired from stain glass that was broken and strewn across the floor. Beautifully restored through grace, prayer, and the sacraments.
Dante writes of a seven-story mountain traveled by the souls being purged of their sin. The path is so long, but the road is an upward spiral. Our vocations are designed to draw us slowly closer to Heaven. When I think back to how often my temper used to flare up and I would rage and fume, I can see that He has slowly brought me along closer to Him. It’s slow going but I’m closer to the clouds than before. Even though I still yell and lose it, I have more love now. His love wins over my anger more often. Patience and peace are more familiar companions than they used to be. He is making me a better mother and he’s not giving up on the work he’s doing in my heart.
But it’s so easy to let the despair and discouragement creep in. To cry over the broken pieces instead of grabbing a broom and getting on with the work of this day.
My eyes fill with tears. And I say I’m sorry to the little people who deserve a far more patient mother. And, as always, the forgiveness they offer is so sweet and full. They do not harbor resentment or bitterness like I so often do. And their chubby arms around my neck are a source of the sweetest grace.
Let’s not give up on our work, cathedral-builders, no matter what our tasks are or how often we fail.
Whether or not you have children to raise, you have cathedrals to build. The Great Cathedral Builder wants you to join Him by filling the lives of those around you with the light of his love. Whether you’re a young mother or a skateboarding friar, there are plans laid for your cathedral that are different than any other. Because He has made you are like no other.
But even when we KNOW this. How do we really live it out? I think it takes the journey of climbing the whole mountain to find out. Maybe in 60 years, I’ll have a better idea.
As a mother, I feel blessed to participate in creation in a unique and beautiful way. But what every Christian is called to do, as modeled by the Blessed Virgin Mary, is to participate in God’s Incarnation. To allow Jesus to be infleshed in us. To give God’s Love a home in our hearts. To be cathedrals. To build cathedrals. To always let love win.
Beautiful! Thank you.
Thank you, Joan!
As a new mom, this was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you for sharing!
Ditto. Thank you!
And as a not-new mom, too!
Thank you. Wonderful words and reminders of why God blessed her to me. I needed this.
So glad it spoke to you, Kara <3
This is my daily struggle! Thank you for writing so beautifully on it.
I think it’s every mother’s daily struggle!
I like the visuals of breaking but rebuilding the cathedrals. Thank you for these wise words. Being a cathedral builder is hard, but words of support like you’ve given today help boost spirits. thanks!
Thanks, Virginia!
Exactly what I needed to read on what I had already written off as a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. Thank you for preaching right to my mama heart. This is holy work indeed.
Oh, I’m so glad, Laura! I have one of those days at least once a week.
I was reading “One Thousand Gifts” — doing a small group study on it– and there was a line about why we choose anger. That when we choose anger, we think that somehow Satan’s way of doing things accomplishes more than God’s way, that anger is more effective than thanksgiving. Yikes.
So I’m working on that. =)
Wise words.
As a (more than?) occasional smasher of my own stained glass windows, I really needed to read this. It speaks right to the tender wounds of my heart. Thank you, Haley.
<3
Thanks for helping me understand that I’m not the only mom out there who sometimes loses her cool. Some weeks, I feel like all I do all day is bark orders at the kids and/or complain silently (or aloud) about all the frustrating things they do. And those are the worst weeks, because the complaining and snapping makes me really angry at myself, which makes me more irritable and thus even less patient (vicious cycle). You’ve reminded me to take a breath and hit “reset.” Thanks so much for the encouragement and the good advice. (:
Oh my dear, you are NOT alone. Hugs.
Posts like this are why I keep coming back to your blog. So beautiful and inspiring. Thank you.
Aw, thank you, Sarah!
Beautiful! This brought tears to my eyes: “And, as always, the forgiveness they offer is so sweet and full. They do not harbor resentment or bitterness like I so often do. And their chubby arms around my neck are a source of the sweetest grace.” Thank you for bravely sharing your own real experiences, as well as lighting a path of encouragement for those of us who also struggle in our vocations. These types of pieces really help me to see that as an impatient-but-working-on-it mother that I am not alone, and that God’s grace is necessary for the journey.
Impatient-but-working-on-it mothers unite! <3
Much needed.
Really needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Oh Haley, you and your beautiful way with words, understanding of Gods love, and impeccable timing! Exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you!
Thank you, Becky!
Love this. Thank you for opening your heart to us and in turn, opening our hearts as well.
Thanks, Beth <3
Wonderful. Thank you. I have felt this in the last week–the impression that perhaps I am farther along now than I was a few years ago, but there is still so far to go. This: “My love isn’t enough and it hurts to confess it. But God’s love is.” YES. Amen.
<3
“If I look around my heart there are colorful windows that weren’t there a few years ago, repaired from stain glass that was broken and strewn across the floor. Beautifully restored through grace, prayer, and the sacraments.”
I loved this part in particular, but I loved the whole post. Thank you, Haley! Just lovely. If we can all rest in His love.
Thank you, Anne!
Beautifully-written! I like how you admit that you lose your cool at times but you don’t dwell on this – you go on and show us that there is hope.
Lately, I’ve been praying that the Holy Spirit will inject His super Grace into me during those particularly flammable moments and it has helped, just to pause, and remember to try to respond rather than react.
Hope you don’t mind if I share this in my Saturday Round-up!
I’d be so honored to have you share it <3
Thanks, Haley. I REALLY needed to read this today. I had a glass shattering episode last night. What a beautiful and inspiring reminder to pick up the pieces and continue to build!
Such a great reminder, thanks!
Just beautiful, Haley. With one baby in heaven and one growing in my womb, I don’t quite have any babies in my arms, yet this is so very important for me to remember. Thank you.
I really needed to “happen to” read this today. As a homeschooling mother of 6 “babies”, thirteen down to eighteen months, I often wonder where in the world my patience is
. Patience is typically all I ever really ask for. I love them ALL to pieces, though, so very much. I would not trade any of it. Thanks for this post 
Thanks for this post!!!
Thank you for the needed reminder that homemaking is indeed holy ground and although quite messy and imperfect at times it is all ok if we use His grace to lift ourselves up, praise Him and keep trying to live more holy than the day before. Thank you for making me feel so not alone in my imperfect spiritual journey known as motherhood.
Thanks so much for this, Haley! I cried reading it; praise God for your encouraging words:)
This is beautiful. I have re read it over and over, crying each time. As my three kiddos age, parenting them becomes harder and harder emotionally. This is just beautifully written and supportive and loving.
The quote by Mindszenty is one of my favorites so I especially enjoyed this post! You put into words so well what I I seem to only have time to ponder. So thank you for being my “voice” as I trek through this journey of motherhood trying to build up my own cathedral and at the same time, the little cathedrals God has given my husband and me!